


Paradox of Choice

by Dana



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:05:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dana/pseuds/Dana
Summary: The moment it happens, you feel it.





	Paradox of Choice

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Start of It - Or Maybe the Middle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14851361) by [Theeniebean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theeniebean/pseuds/Theeniebean). 



> Just a little something I wrote today at work because Sam wouldn't shut UP, posted with Theeniebean's permission >.>

You're fidgeting. Gene would make a joke of it. Maybe you'd appreciate that, it'd lighten the mood. Instead, all alone in your little kitchen, you pick up Gene's favourite mug and wipe down the worktop beneath it (that's seventeen times now – you've been counting). After the island, and the mug itself, and everything else.

You set the mug back down and close your eyes, clutching the cloth in your hand. And you take a deep breath.

The moment it happens, you feel it. Thirty-three years of anxiety roll off your shoulders like water off the proverbial duck's back... And you feel. Your mind twists and bends and the kitchen stretches out around you, stretches out into vague shapes and 

You don't regret it. You aren't sad.

But you do shudder. You take a breath, count to ten. The world slips

And you count to ten. You don't actually know how long it's been.

You'd thought about it, a lot. How not knowing would feel. And you're lighter, but you're heavier, and there are tears running down your face, hot and fast but slow. Somewhere out there, your life is just beginning. Somewhere out there, you're already at the end.

But right where you're standing, you chuckle, rub at your eyes until all that's left is a burning stinging. Wipe down the counter, once more won't hurt. He's going to want to hear from you. You know he went, really you'd wanted him to go. Because you hadn't wanted to be alone – you'd thought you'd been alone.

You set down the cloth, don't need it any more. Take your mobile from your pocket, you've got Gene's number on speed dial. Gene – you smile as you wait for him to answer. Your eyes are still damp.

Everything is going to be alright.


End file.
